Be the Tiger

(WARNING: this blog post may get a little personal)

When I decided I wanted to start November Project in San Diego, my then boyfriend told me I was crazy. He told me it was going to take too much time and energy and that I probably couldn't turn it into anything worthy anyway. He told me, more or less, that I was going to fail.

This was an essential fork in the road in my life, with two very different potential outcomes.

Now, let's back up. I already knew this relationship wasn't "the one", but this was the tipping point for me. And it opened my eyes to a glaring, scary, ugly reality: sometimes those that are closest to you try to hold you back the most.

I could've listened to him. I could've agreed. Honestly, the pressure of attempting to start November Project was immense. I wanted it to be a success, I knew in my heart that it could change not only my life, but my community, and eventually the world. Without his support, I decided to go for it. It was one of the best decisions I've ever made. And clearly, that relationship ended shortly thereafter.

This choice and realization gave me power. It helped me begin to understand that when someone tells you "no, you can't do that" or "no, you shouldn't do that", a perfectlly acceptable answer is "watch me." It's freeing. It's enlightening to realize that you DO NOT need the support of everyone you know, even those that you may consider important in your life, to take risks, to make decisions, and to build your reality.

When I decided I wanted to qualify for the Boston Marathon, even I thought I may be a little crazy. My marathon PR was 4:12. Almost 40 minutes slower than qualifying time. I have never been considered an "elite" or "top level" runner. Always very average. But after setting that goal, as I trained my speed and endurance improved. Drastically. My half marathon PR went from 1:37 to 1:28 in 12 months. Boston qualifying looked less crazy to me. Even the training partners closest to me didn't quite understand. They wanted to know what I was doing differently, what my secret was. It took a while to figure that out myself, and when I told them, I was met with disbelief. It's simple: I believe in myself. I run for myself. I eat well, sleep a lot, and take care of my body - all for myself. I am a selfish runner. Which means I am self-motivated. My secret? I care. I care because sometimes you can't rely on others to care for you. So I trained, hard. And I ran a 3:13. Boston - check.

When I decided to start a running coaching and training business and began to tell people, it got uncomfortable. It's very hard for people to hide the fact that they don't think you will succeed. They say things like, "Congratulations! But, make sure you don't quit your day job" or "That sounds like such a great idea!" And you watch them squirm as they try to convince not only you, but themselves that they believe the words they are saying.

But this is what I've learned: they are uncomfortable, or unsupportive, or unbelieving it is because of THEM not because of YOU. Their reactions are a direct reflection of their lack of ambition, or self esteem, or personal motivation. And when you learn that, it no longer affects you. Now I'm supposed to say that I'm very lucky to have a good support system and to be surrounded by those who believe in me. But that would be a lie. I'm not lucky. I've planned it that way. I choose who I spend time with. I choose who I confide in. And I choose those that surround me. They say you're an average of the 5 people you spend the most time interacting with. Think about that. Choose wisely.

We live in a society that has begun to get soft. Kids play sports where everyone wins an award at the end of the year. It's frowned upon to acknowledge that some people are smarter, more athletic, or better looking than others. Instead of trying to lift up and improve people, we bring down the high-end outliers in order to make the larger majority comfortable. While inclusion is important, we may slowly be creating mediocrity.

So take that risk. Make people squirm when you tell them your goals. Set your ambitions so high that many view them as unattainable. Do not feel bad celebrating your strengths. And do not listen to them when they tell you "no." No change has ever come from staying in your comfort zone. And if that makes other people uncomfortable, remember that it is their issue, not yours.

Ready to get uncomfortable? My goals:

1. Break 1:27 in the half marathon.

2. Break 3:10 at Boston 2015.

3. Speak and write about running, fitness, and leadership.

4. Own a successful running coaching, training, and rehab business.

5. Take over the world.

Because you can make a difference. Your goals, and dreams, and ambitiions can motivate others to set their sights higher. And this chain reaction, this can change the world for the better.

"Do what you feel in your heart to be right - for you'll be criticized anyway." - Eleanor Roosevelt

LP

#runningleadershipnovemberprojectmarathonbostonfitnessexercisegoalsambitionselfesteem